Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car

But not really. I sort of hate when it’s my turn to drive. I like to drive myself to work but only because I like to be able to leave when I need to. I hate driving. I find each and every turn behind the wheel for me is an exercise in pure white knuckled horror. I’m hoping to grow out of it someday but you know, I’m 34. So it’s not looking good. But you know what makes it a little better?

A new car.


(all photos this post by Jessica Guest)

That’s right. After 12 months (Ok, maybe 11 and a half) of not having a car, I have gone out and purchased myself a brand new car. It’s my first ever brand new car, and I chose it and bought it all on my own. It is ADORABLE.



It’s a Hyundai Accent hatchback. I actually got kind of an obscenely good deal on it and in true finance guy fashion, the guy at the dealership tried to trick me into spending $4000 more than we agreed to in extra warranties and features. I said no. Several times.

He got rude.
I told him he was being very aggressive and I didn’t appreciate it.
He said he was supposed to get off two hours ago to be with his kids.
I said I didn’t HAVE to buy the car from him.
He said he HAD to have that warranty on there for the finance department to approve it.
I threatened to pay cash (I have never seen such horror in a man’s eyes as when I did that. It was crazy).

After that I pretty much got what I wanted. PLUS a massive feeling of accomplishment knowing I beat a MASTER at his own game. I have patted myself on the back a few times since then.

And I did it again just now.



Look how perfectly we go together.

I love this car.*



*I know. You can see my pettipants. But look at it this way, at least I am wearing the proper undergarments, you know?

Hooded knit jacket, Target
Tunic, mark
tights, Target
boots, Doc Martins

But Those Were Happy Tears

(A picture we took before that I never blogged, because some people don’t like to read so much and I get a little TL/DR below…)

This past week, my husband got a job. He was laid off in December of 2008 and has been doing consultant work off and on, but nothing compares to the wonderful feeling of stability you get from full time steady work. And health insurance! He started work today and when he walked out the door (45 minutes before my alarm even goes off!) my photographer went with him. So now I have to learn how to use our “new” camera. The one he has been taking my photos with for the past 2 years. I’m sure I can do it, but I do suspect it will cause hiccups. And to be honest, I’m not ready to come back quiet yet. I just wanted to stop by and say “Hi!” and share a few random thoughts with you.

The night after posting my farewell for now to the blog, I set about putting together my first blog free outfit. Something about knowing I was not going to document it made me feel free. I choose the same oversized striped cardigan I had worn the day before. I paired it with the same shoes. And a dress I had worn only recently, but wanted to wear again. What a concept! I felt free. I could wear whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and not worry about who was reading. But then something happened. I put the outfit on the next day and was so pleased with it, I asked my husband to photograph it anyway. I just felt like I was leaving out a step if I didn’t photograph a good outfit. It felt wrong somehow. So far I have not even pulled the pictures. There is no rush to edit them or get them on Flickr. They sit patiently and wait. (edited to add: No. They don’t. We forgot to put a card in the camera. So they don’t actually exist. I’m rolling my eyes SO HARD at myself right now.)

Day two of not blogging was a casual Friday, and also the last day of work before Halloween. And I wore almost exactly the same outfit I wore for Halloween 2 years before. Something I would have never done on the blog. Black tee with a skeleton ribcage print, black skinny fit jeans, black shoes and as much creepy jewelry as I could pile on. And I was happy. No one knew I wore this two years ago. No one cared. Not even me.

I’m finding I am taking fewer risks. I’m maybe less creative. But I’m not sure it bothers me. I’m still expressive. I’m wearing what I want when I want without worrying that it is “too boring”. There are some negatives. For instance, because I’m not blogging, I’m also not planning. This has resulted in more than one forgotten camisole. I need camisoles with a lot of my dresses to save them being too low cut, and without planning, I simply forget. It’s not until I am at the office and feel bare that I notice and by then it is too late.

An undocumented outfit still seems like a waste. This weekend we went shopping and spent our Christmas money from 2008. We had been saving it, in a sock drawer, “in case”. But we made it! So we spent. It was good fun, shopping. And it was freeing. I didn’t look at items and wonder how they would be for the blog, or how I would wear them on the blog. I just thought about them in terms of me and my wardrobe. I wore the exact same outfit Saturday and Sunday afternoon. And I went to Nordstrom Rack both times. And I didn’t care what they might think. I loved that outfit. I’ll wear it again. Maybe even next Saturday. I’d like to keep the free feeling. The wear whatever I want feeling, the honesty in my dressing, and somehow manage to blog THAT. I feel like when I started the blog that was very much what I was doing, but by the time I took my break, I was dressing for the blog. Almost all the time. And I want to dress for me. Not the blog. Because dressing should be fun. And an extension of who I am, and who I desire to be.

So I’ll be back. And I hope you’ll stick around.

So Long, Farewell (For Now!)

I’m going to take a break. A real one. I’m not sure for how long or when I’ll be back. Might be a week, might be a couple months. Blogging is supposed to be fun, but for right now, it’s not. And honestly, it’s not you, it’s me. You have been nothing but supportive and a wonderful blessing. But I need to step back for a while. I’ll miss you.

Be well.

XOXO

Don’t Fear The Reaper

This is totally off topic, but it’s my blog! So there!

We are having a door decorating contest at work (and the judging happens soonish I think) and this is my entry:



The company name is crossed out for protection of the innocent!



I made it myself, from scratch, the only pre-made item is the hand, and even that had to be cut up (it had an arm. I…removed it) to work. I made the bars from paper and I typed up all that adding machine tape and bloodied it up. Then I suspended the whole thing with fishing line.



Want to shake on it?



All the entries are really fun, so I may or may not win, but I don't care either way. I'm just really proud of how it came out!

I'm wearing purple today to support LGBT youth

What is Spirit Day?

“The idea behind Spirit Day, first created by teenager Brittany McMillan earlier this month, is a simple one, not dissimilar to the idea of "Spirit Week" held in many high schools, and can be summed up in three words: Everyone Rally Together.
Spirit Day honors the teenagers who had taken their own lives in recent weeks. But just as importantly, it's also a way to show the hundreds of thousands of LGBT youth who face the same pressures and bullying, that there is a vast community of people who support them.” - GLAAD.ORG

I am not gay. But even without that hurdle, High School was what can only be described as brutal. It was awful. And no amount of money could convince me to do it again. I was bullied (although in my time we called it “made fun of” I think bullying is a much more accurate term, bullying is not just physical, it is emotional and psychological.)

But after High School? Things got a lot better. I met my husband, and I moved into a home with him. I made friends who liked the same things as I did and didn’t see those things as a negative, but a positive. People who like me for me. And I like them for them. I have had problems, and hardships. My husband is less than 2 months away from hitting the 2 year mark of unemployment. But even this has been a breeze compared to High School.

I don’t envy you your time there. I really don’t. But it ends. And life gets better. And there are people out here that support you. I support you. If you are reading this and being bullied and need someone to listen, email me. Erindyan at gmail dot com. I’ll listen. It gets better. I support you, just the way you are.



Sweater, Blouse, Jeggings and flats, all Target
Bag, Nordstrom Rack
Pendant, Moon Raven Designs at Etsy