Monday, November 8, 2010

But Those Were Happy Tears

October 14
(A picture we took before that I never blogged, because some people don’t like to read so much and I get a little TL/DR below…)

This past week, my husband got a job. He was laid off in December of 2008 and has been doing consultant work off and on, but nothing compares to the wonderful feeling of stability you get from full time steady work. And health insurance! He started work today and when he walked out the door (45 minutes before my alarm even goes off!) my photographer went with him. So now I have to learn how to use our “new” camera. The one he has been taking my photos with for the past 2 years. I’m sure I can do it, but I do suspect it will cause hiccups. And to be honest, I’m not ready to come back quiet yet. I just wanted to stop by and say “Hi!” and share a few random thoughts with you.

The night after posting my farewell for now to the blog, I set about putting together my first blog free outfit. Something about knowing I was not going to document it made me feel free. I choose the same oversized striped cardigan I had worn the day before. I paired it with the same shoes. And a dress I had worn only recently, but wanted to wear again. What a concept! I felt free. I could wear whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and not worry about who was reading. But then something happened. I put the outfit on the next day and was so pleased with it, I asked my husband to photograph it anyway. I just felt like I was leaving out a step if I didn’t photograph a good outfit. It felt wrong somehow. So far I have not even pulled the pictures. There is no rush to edit them or get them on Flickr. They sit patiently and wait. (edited to add: No. They don’t. We forgot to put a card in the camera. So they don’t actually exist. I’m rolling my eyes SO HARD at myself right now.)

Day two of not blogging was a casual Friday, and also the last day of work before Halloween. And I wore almost exactly the same outfit I wore for Halloween 2 years before. Something I would have never done on the blog. Black tee with a skeleton ribcage print, black skinny fit jeans, black shoes and as much creepy jewelry as I could pile on. And I was happy. No one knew I wore this two years ago. No one cared. Not even me.

I’m finding I am taking fewer risks. I’m maybe less creative. But I’m not sure it bothers me. I’m still expressive. I’m wearing what I want when I want without worrying that it is “too boring”. There are some negatives. For instance, because I’m not blogging, I’m also not planning. This has resulted in more than one forgotten camisole. I need camisoles with a lot of my dresses to save them being too low cut, and without planning, I simply forget. It’s not until I am at the office and feel bare that I notice and by then it is too late.

An undocumented outfit still seems like a waste. This weekend we went shopping and spent our Christmas money from 2008. We had been saving it, in a sock drawer, “in case”. But we made it! So we spent. It was good fun, shopping. And it was freeing. I didn’t look at items and wonder how they would be for the blog, or how I would wear them on the blog. I just thought about them in terms of me and my wardrobe. I wore the exact same outfit Saturday and Sunday afternoon. And I went to Nordstrom Rack both times. And I didn’t care what they might think. I loved that outfit. I’ll wear it again. Maybe even next Saturday. I’d like to keep the free feeling. The wear whatever I want feeling, the honesty in my dressing, and somehow manage to blog THAT. I feel like when I started the blog that was very much what I was doing, but by the time I took my break, I was dressing for the blog. Almost all the time. And I want to dress for me. Not the blog. Because dressing should be fun. And an extension of who I am, and who I desire to be.

So I’ll be back. And I hope you’ll stick around.

51 comments:

@tryjen said...

I am SO HAPPY for you!

Cara said...

You made my day, popping back up in my blog reader!!
I think when you come back to blogging, you have every right to re-wear entire outfits. Afterall, we spend so much time playing around with different ideas, it seems almost wasteful to only wear something that we love once!
And I'm so happy your husband found a permanent job!

Melissa said...

I love this. I love your honesty and how REAL you're being.

I completely understand too, because I feel that same freedom on the weekends when I don't take pictures. It's glorious. Especially when I repeat a favorite outfit!

Kasmira said...

Welcome back! I missed you and your rock-n-roll vibe. I don't think I'd ever notice if you repeated...you've worn so many combos that I could never keep track!

What about giving yourself a few days off a week? For repeating and relaxing.

Kerry Scott said...

First, I'm happy for your husband. It's great to hear of someone finding a job after all that time.

Second, it's totally fine to blog outfits you want to, and skip outfits you don't. There's no law that says you have to show everything you wear, every day, no matter what. The great thing about blogs is that they can be whatever you want, and they can evolve with you.

I'm a fairly new reader, but I really like your blog, and I hope you'll do...well, whatever you want. This is supposed to be fun!

SHOEGAL said...

Yay for Nate, that's great news!
And I repeat outfits all the time on my blog. Don't worry about it. Just be who you are and your readers will continue to love you. Everyone repeats outfits, that's life. We all have our favourites, ones we feel great in, ones that are easy to throw on when we lack inspiration. You can always just switch up the shoes or add a scarf or something.
Great to see you again anyway, hope you're back more permanently soon.
xx

Smash said...

Really glad to see your beautiful face and words back on my computer screen! <3 Blog and wear what you want -- we'll love you no matter what! And major congrats to the hubby on his new job!

Hooked on Shoes said...

That dress is so cute! And congratulations on your significant other and his job!

susan said...

Congrats to your hubby on the job. What a HUGE relief that must be for you two!

This is one of my favorite outfits of yours. Don't feel bad about repeating. People don't notice as much about us as we notice about ourselves. And really, it (repeating) just makes you more like the rest of us. If you love something, you should wear it!

Look forward to your "real" return.

Rebecca said...

Congrats to your husband. It's nice to see you back.

Sal said...

E, I am SO HAPPY for you that Nathan found steady work! That must be such an unbelievable load off your mind.

And it sounds like you are doing some really important reevaluation about dressing and blogging, and that's fantastic. It can be really challenging to find a balance, but I know you'll find it. In time.

Big hugs.

Tina said...

I am so excited for your newfound sartorial freedom. And even more than that, I am so excite for nathan. Tell him congrats from Rand and I. And take a picture of what he wears to work!

Audi said...

Congratulations to Nathan!! I am so, so happy for the two of you. You were seriously heroic in your handling of such a difficult situation; if anyone ever deserved a shopping spree, it's you.

I'll let you in on a little secret: I repeat outfits all the time, I just don't photograph them when I do. Not because I think anyone would notice or care, but because I'd be stumped to write about the same outfit twice. So while you take a break, keep on photographing; that way whenever you want to come back, you'll always have a stockpile of things to post and whenever you want to take a day off, you can.

WendyB said...

Huge congrats to your husband. And to you.

And LOL re the outfits. Just don't do an outfit blog, honey. You can do fashion and style without doing outfits. I'm living proof -- God, I wear the same thing for a whole week running. I just don't take a picture of it!

Bethany said...

First--congratulations to your husband!!!

Second--please feel free to repeat and blog whenever you want whatever you want--repeats (I love this outfit so much, I wear it often!) observations, etc. I genuinely like your style and your writing is refreshing and witty.

Alison said...

I've been thinking about you guys a lot these last couple of days and just sat to email you to see how you were doing. Then what pops up in my reader? A post from you! I'm so happy to hear that Nathan found full-time work. You were so helpful in making me feel better when my hubby and I were laid off. So glad you posted today. I missed reading your posts.

Erin said...

I'm so glad your husband got work! And seriously, I wear the same outfits ALL THE TIME and put it on my blog. The only things I might think to change are jewelry and hair! But, post when and if YOU want. Just know that I'll read whatever you have to say, doll.

La Historiadora de Moda said...

I'm thrilled for you guys that Nathan found a job! That has to be a tremendous relief to you both!

I don't usually blog every day so I don't post all of my outfits. There's no reason you should feel like you have to post when you don't want to.

curlyred said...

so happy to see a new post from you, i missed you! congrats to you and your husband, steadiness is so needed! it's your blog lady, you can post whatever you like, we like you, you have smashing style, but more to the point we like YOU, so take your time.

Jennifer said...

Awww man! Your blog just recently popped up in my "recommended items" and the first post I read was your farewell post. I've been reading your past posts and I'm sad you're taking a break, but I have a feeling that you'll be ready before I've scrolled back to the beginning. I love your style and I honestly wouldn't mind seeing you wear the same cardigan and shoes two days in a row, it'd made me feel normal :)

RubyAlison said...

Hey - Congrats to your husband on the job! I hope he likes it and that it goes well. And I know that feeling of relief you have right now so high five for that.

It's great to hear you will be returning, at some point, to your blog. I enjoy it very much and look forward to whatever you want to wear and show.

Fashion Anarchy!

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

I love every single thing about this post! YOu look awesome! What a chic combo!

Congrats to your hubby for landing a job:)

Deb said...

As an on-again-off-again blogger, I understand both the siren song and struggle of frequent blogging. For me, I'm happy if you post less frequently, I don't have all that much time to read blogs either. But I will appreciate each post as you show how to dress a real woman's body on a budget. So post as often or as infrequently as you wish, and I for one, will still be here.

Peabody said...

Yay for a job with health insurance! I sure know the pain of not having it.
Good news!

Kristen said...

Hurray for Nathan getting back to work! I know it's been a source of stress for you both. What a relief -- and health insurance. :)

And welcome back to you too. You were missed!

LaShaune said...

Congrats to you and your hubby. I know how that's been - not fun. My guy leaves today (on his bday) for Sacramento to start his new job!

I love this dress - super cute.

Charlotte said...

Congratulations to your hubby! Thanks for being so honest with us. If you want to keep blogging, I think you should just keep dressing like you have on your break, but share that with us! We aren't expecting miraculous outfits every day. And if something doesn't end up working out well? Maybe we can all learn. So good to see you again!

todds_wife said...

Congrats to your husband and to you on the gainful employment! I remember well how amazing that news is!
Don't stay away too long - I love Work With What You've Got!

D'Rae said...

So glad to see you back! Even if it is just for a hi!

I am so excited for you and your hubby! Congrats again!

I dress for myslef as well. I repeat outfits all the time! So don't feel bad at all about it. I even post them on my blog. I don't care what other people think about the way I dress or if I wear repeats.

Future Lint said...

Yay! Congrats to the hubby! And glad to hear you'll be back, sooner rather than later!

myedit said...

That is friggen fantastic that Nathan got a job!!! Did a happy dance for you today...

Jodie said...

Congratulations to Nathan on his new job!

What Would a Nerd Wear said...

friend, i feel this way a lot. there are some things i love to wear that just don't photograph well (pants for instance) and there are weeks where i want to wear the same cardigan five days in a row.
so i FEEL you on the blog-ambivalence. but we love you and will wait till you come back :)

Lisa said...

Congratulations to your husband! It's great to see you. Dressing should be fun and for you. I find that the blogs I read most aren't by the people who wear something new and different constantly or who have perfect photography. I read people who are likable, real and vital. You are that. Have a great week.

Lovers, Saints & Sailors said...

Congratulations all round on the job front! What a relief it must be.

Ana - Toil and Trouble said...

oh I am so happy for you and Nathan!! This is a lovely post. I love that you are always so frank, and really, you should wear what makes you happy. It shouldn't be about some abstract notion of what a blog should be.

Cynthia said...

So happy about hubby's new job - and I can't wait to see you back! I'll be here reading no matter WHAT you're talking about!

introwill said...

good work, lady. and congratulations to nathan. <3

Linda said...

YAY! I'll stick around. But I emailed you and you didn't return it, and I felt sad.
Congrats to you and your husband!

Indiana Adams said...

Erin! Hi! Did you know we have mutual friends? Todd & Jaime Graves! They were trying to tell me they knew another style blogger in Texas and I was like, "WHO?" And it's you! What a small, fun world! We must have a Texas bloggers meet up this spring at SXSW!

Allie said...

Late to the party but YAAAYYYY!

A good blog is one that changes with the owner's life. Blog first for you, and the audience will be there. When I stopped dressing for my audience and for me, my readership in fact grew. People commented that they LIKED seeing me wear the same things over and over because it was realistic and relatable. Your blog is great, has been great, and will continue to be great even if you wear the same thing every single day!

Congrats to Nate!

TrophyBoutique said...

It's weird what blogging has done to my fashion. I am fairly new at it, so I'm still enjoying how creative it's made me become because I have a reason to dress better. But I totally take breaks, too, and wear the same thing all weekend, just to revive myself and give my creative brain a break.
Anyway. Just came across your blog!
xo
laurel

GlamaRuth said...

Mazel Tov to you and your husband, and to all of us out here too, for being able to welcome you back - we want to hear what you have to say, however you choose to say it.

over50feeling40 said...

Hi fellow Texan from San Antonio!
I just discovered your blog and though you are backing off for awhile, I want to encourage and say I really like it!! We have much in common...my husband was laid off two years ago and has been doing contract work for about a year & a half. We are still hoping for a permanent job and insurance soon! I know the struggles and emotions that happen during that time. Please visit me at my blog and I hope to see more from you soon!

wardrobeexperience said...

thank you so much for this post... i totally agree with most of your words. as being a full time worker again, i can't shoot my outfits every day...because there's no time or even not enough daylight in wintertime... 'An undocumented outfit still seems like a waste.' - i often say these words to me, when i look in the mirrow at work... and i see a lovely outfit on me. Not shot...
BUT this fact makes me able to wear it again and again till theres enough time to take poper pictures of it.

congrats on your darling's new job! i really know how it feels beeing without...

can't wait to have you back!

wardrobexperience.blogspot.com

DaniellaBella said...

Wahooooo for your husband! and Wahooooo for you!
Do what you need to do to be living the life that you want and becoming the person that you want to be! Freedom in any form that it comes in!

Camii Palta A. said...

your drees is nice!!
take care hugs from chile!!
http://www.camiiovertherainbow.blogspot.com/

Aditi said...

I am so glad you are back! I have been following your blog for the past few months, and was so crushed when you decided to take a break! Your was the first style blog I ever read. I love your style, and the way you write. Please keep blogging forever!!
(Though I do understand what you meant by blogging being a pain at times)

Cynthia said...

Merry Christmas Erin (that is if you check comments) Hope you & Nate have the best ever!

Bernadette said...

Congrats to you both. Miss you!

Sheila said...

I'm so happy for you guys! Congrats to the hubby! That is awesome, awesome news. :)