I Bet You Think I'm Kidding, I Promise You It's True

This is how I feel about my haircut.



Notice it looks pretty much the same. No bangs. (Forgive the frizz it has blessedly been raining for several hours here.)

Would you like to hear a story? It has a pretty negative overall tone to it and I’m a little whiney in it. So if you are not in the mood for that, that’s cool. You can come back on another day and I’ll be chipper again, I promise. No hard feelings…









So now that those kids are gone (SO RUDE how they don’t care about my problems, am I right?**) I’ll tell you. ..

Monday I go online and look up the schedule and it indicates that Ashley (my stylist) is working on Wednesday. So I make plans to do that. I still don’t have a car. So I can’t really just decide these things last minute, I have to plan. So I do. And then I call Wednesday around 6* and let them know I am on my way to see her. But wait. She’s not in. She’s out. ALL WEEK. Well. That is just no good. Because not only have I planned, I have spent the past 3 days really talking myself into it. Because going to get a haircut is ALMOST as traumatic as going to the Doctor for me, and that’s saying something. I am terrified of haircuts. And this one? It has not helped. Let me tell you all about my experience. It was not good. Now, to be fair, it was not BAD, like the time that guys shaved my head (2 months before my wedding, I kid you not), or the time that lady made me look like a boy (right before the formal dance) or the time that OTHER lady cut off 6 more inches than I asked (seriously, she did that). But it was not good.

So I went ahead and decided to see someone else. How bad could it be? My hair is SO SIMPLE, it’s hard to mess up. So I went in, and waited and a stylist whose name I genuinely do not remember came and got me. I had asked for a cut and blow dry. As soon as I sat down she asked if she could cut my hair dry. Well, OK. I assumed she meant she would cut it, THEN wash and dry it, since that is after all, what I asked for. The only good thing about a haircut is not having to wash and blow dry my own hair. But no. She cut it dry and then didn’t wash it. But that’s not all! She ALSO argued with me the ENTIRE time I was in the chair begging to put layers in. I Do. Not. Want. Layers. Layers require much more dedication to hair styling than I have now or will ever have. I do not want them and I should only have to tell you this once. Right? No. I had to tell her this no less than 6 times. I was actually scared she might just start adding layers regardless of what I said she was so pushy about it. And on top of that? She refused to cut bangs the way I asked her to (right above the eyebrow, straight across, not wispy, but not heavy). Just refused. She told me we could do side swept. I said that “No, I have tried that before, it does not do well with the texture of my hair”. She said we could so wispy. I said “No, I have tried that before, it does not do well with the texture of my hair”. Then she said she did not think I should do that. It was “boring” and besides, I “Have kind of a small forehead. And glasses.” I kid you not, she said that.

When she was done cutting and not doing what I asked and pushing layers on me, not ONLY did she NOT wash and dry my hair, she ADDED PRODUCT and made it even dirtier. And that was bad because Wednesday is date night. Our night to be together and just enjoy each other’s company. But now, I had to spend an hour of that night washing and drying my hair. I was unhappy. Angry even. BUT I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING. Which is ANOTHER reason I hate getting haircuts. Because I should have said “I asked for a blowout” and demanded that she do it. But I didn’t. I am always so shaky and traumatized and nervous and I never have my head on straight and I always smile and say thank you and pay (and tip!) and leave. So. That is the story of why I don’t have bangs.

The End.

*They do not have appointments at Floyd’s 99, but you can call and let them know you are on your way and they will tell your stylists and also tell you what kind of a wait you might have.

**Totally kidding, you guys. These are not real problems. I totally know that! :D